Sad songs make me happy.

And so do other paradoxes of life.

For a half a year after I graduated from college I felt uneasy about the uncertainty that followed suit. It’s understandable to be anxious about the unknown sequels in your life, but this didn’t feel like anxiety — a feeling I know well and have made aquaintences with; we’ll never be friends.

I felt an internal tension that lingered for months. I continued to function per usual, and didn’t notice a difference in appetite or sleep. I traveled the world, experienced amazing things with people I love, saw concerts from my favorite arists and carried on having emotional showers — blasting music with colored LED’s matching the mood to the color — listening to my favorite music, most slower tempos, more emotional lyrics, and the occasional Lil’ Wayne or Beyoncé playlist (even melancholic people need to shake their tush every once and while). I’d go for long walks listening to podcasts and audiobooks for hours. Anywhere I could be in silence surrounded by nature with the job of DJ I was there. I continue to find peace in these places, being connected to beautiful and even awe inspiring landscapes grounds me, caring for my light within despite feeling like it was dimmed for quite some time.

I listened to a podcast with Susan Cain, premiering her latest work, Bittersweet. The concept was eye opening…